Mental Health

The other day I wondered, just out of idle curiosity, what a Phase 1 Player would think if they knew my emotional state and understood my circumstances -- insofar as those circumstances were being portrayed in the Total Immersion Movie that is my life. They would see a person in a precarious financial situation who nonetheless was happy.

It occurred to me that they might think I was nuts. They might perceive an inconsistency between my so called reality and my response to that "reality."

For quite a while now -- let's say a couple of weeks -- my mood has been remarkably consistent. I've been cheerful most of the time. I've been aware of what has been going on around me. At times a part of me has felt afraid. But, even during my moments of fear, there has been another part of me that has been joyful.

I have found myself simultaneously carrying contradictory feelings. The so called negative feeling has not drowned the so called positive feeling. If anything, it's been the other way round. The so called positive feeling has prevailed, no matter what.

A couple of days ago I shared this with someone whom I regard as an enlightened person, although she is not a student of Robert Scheinfeld. She told me that the theologian, Carline Myss, had written about this phenomenon. Apparently Myss has stated that, to a person living an ego-based existence, a mystic and a psychotic look the same.

In Myths of light : Eastern metaphors of the eternal, Joseph Campbell wrote, "The psychotic is drowning in these waters, while the yogi is swimming."

I feel as if I'm doing the doggy paddle, and I appreciate that.